Having dealt with many frustrating, painful, and humbling skin issues over the years, I’ve developed a love/hate relationship with makeup. I love that I can transform my appearance through the strategic application of cosmetic enhancements, yet I hate the feelings of inauthenticity and insecurity that accompany relying on an artificial veneer to project the illusion of attractiveness.

I wrote a poem about this a few years ago. I had planned to share this at a poetry reading event on Maui, but felt the topic was too superficial to address amongst the deep, philosophical, spiritual, and socially conscious messages others were sharing.

Still, I think this needs to be expressed as part of my overall healing, liberation, and awakening, so I feel inspired to share it now:

Makeup

Slathering on another layer
Of self-doubt and hypocrisy
In a vain attempt to be
Seen
And to seem
Whole and complete
As if these scars are skin deep
And not rooted in years
Of pain
And shame
Misplaced blame
In a fruitless quest to be loved
More than I love myself

Heal thyself!
I know I can
I’m a magnificent spirit
Except…
These rubber suits are heavy
And I keep losing the thread
That leads back to the source
Of this beautiful illusion

If I stand naked before you
Will you look into my eyes and see me?
The I that is you that is all
The light before the fall
The love with no end
Or beginning

Until then
I’ll keep powdering my face
So as not to disgrace
The part of me that yearns for perfection
And the forgotten reflection
Of who I truly am